she is still so lucky..

last saturday, i met dr. joy (a pediatrician) while we were attending a seminar. i later found out that, aside from the fact that we have the same three-letter name ending in letter "Y", we also share the same fate (almost!).. in marriage.

just like me, she got married twice (civil and church).

just like me, she has no children (thank God! we both agree, indeed, it is a blessing in disguise!).

just like me, she is financially independent from her husband.

just like me, she bought properties from her own pocket.

and just like my ex-husband, hers did not contribute for the payment of their domestic expenses.

and just like my ex-husband, hers cheated on her..

oh another thing! dr. joy discovered that she is just the 2nd wife. how did her husband do that? her husband applied for a late registration at the NSO and used another name. he was able to secure a birth certificate needed for the proceesing of marriage license, blah, blah, blah.

me? i believe i am also just the 2nd wife. unfortunately, i don't have a proof. i just hold on to what my ex-husband said days after we got married. he married lorlaine (check my previous posts re her identity) solemnized by the mayor (or the judge?) at the municipality of santiago, agusan del norte. according to him, the marriage contract was intercepted at the local civil registrar just in time before it was supposedly submitted to the NSO.

the only difference i noticed between dr. joy's fate and mine are:

a) her husband is earning much (he is an OFW), while mine, a government employee, who does not depend on his net take home pay (the lowest allowed by the government) but relied on the "donations" from the suppliers and his assigned agencies.

b) since her husband is also earning, he was not considered a leech to her, while mine.. never mind!

c) she did not change her name when she got married. good for her. me? i changed it (sigh!). i suggested to my husband (then!) that i would just be using my maiden name. he got angry! hmmp! if only i knew that we would just come to this point.. (sigh again!)

for now, dr. joy is just waiting for the decision of the bigamy case she filed against her husband. the decision will come out anytime soon.

dr. joy will be free again.

she is still lucky..

who is he anyway?

i went home from office at around 10pm last night. no, i did not render an overtime. an officemate from another department came over and talked about a relationship she just ended.

accordingly, her ex-boyfriend was a certified user. that's what her other colleagues describe him. there was one time they went to Mall of Asia. her ex-boyfriend wanted her to buy him an Armani perfume. although she can afford it, she did not give in. from then on, it had become an issue between them..

i told her, "hmm.. been there!".

i can relate to her. when we were still together, my ex-husband would ask me to buy him things for himself like books, shirts, and Levis' pants! at that time, i didn't own such expensive pants but i bought few pairs for him anyway lest it would become a cause for an argument. too bad, because of him i forgot to value myself..

he would resent me everytime i arrived home from travel empty-handed. there was even one instance that i gave him a white shirt which my brother gave me. he was disgusted to find out that it was just a promo shirt from a client of my brother.

by the way, do i have to mention that he was so disappointed when he received only a bar of chocolate from my sister who came home from United Kingdom?

my two brothers also got chocolates but they did not complain.. then, why would he?

my ex-husband panicked when his ex-mother-in-law consulted a fortune-teller..

yeah! i did mention in my earlier post that what triggered my husband to reluctantly confess about the crime his brother had allegedly committed was the fact that i told him that my mother consulted a fortune-teller. my mother was suspicious when she learned about the burglary.. she felt something was so fishy..

with a help of colleague, my mother was able to tracked the location of the fortune-teller. the pathway to her house was so steep that one false move would drag the unfamiliar visitor to roll down to the ground. i could imagine the horrendous ordeal my mother and her colleague went through considering their age, not to mention their chronic arthritis.

anyway, as narrated by my mother, they were able to talk to the fortune teller about their purpose. after the fortune-teller performed a ritual, she told my mother that the theft was somebody who is closely related to my ex-husband. she continued to describe in detail the identity of the culprit when my mother stopped her. my mother was so embarrassed that she did not want her colleague to hear the rest of the revelations. the description pointed it all to the identity of my ex-husband's brother..

my mother then vowed to return to the fortune-teller but she silently hoped her colleague would not go with her. she did not convince me to go with her, i myself was already convinced. but because of my busy schedule at that time, we were able to visit the fortune-teller only a few weeks after. unfortunately, the fortune-teller had difficulty delivering her service again since it happened more than a month already and my mother did not buy black candles as instructed..

when i told my ex-husband about that, he laughed deviously, turned his back from me, then tried to hide his sigh of relief..

i was helpless to ask help from NBI..

this is the 2nd to the last part of the previous post, "my ex-bro-in-law allegedly stole my jewels away.."

after his confession, my ex-husband firmly instructed me not to contact any NBI agents. i protested! i explained that to set things clear, the crime should be investigated to point out who the guilty party is. but my protest fell into deaf ears.. he was so sure that his brother did it. he further said that the result of the investigation would be a tremendous shame to the family.

the next thing i knew, he wiped off the finger prints on the jewelry box.. and so was my hope for justice..

speaking of the black sheep..

(this is the 6th part of my previous post entitled, "my ex-bro-in-law allegedly stole my jewels away..)

one of the reasons why my ex-bro-in-law was the only suspect is that he already has a history of being the theft. my sis-in-law (just like my mother-in-law, i respect her too much to put a prefix "ex" on her) narrated to me that she lost a camera a long time ago. that camera was a special gift from her father who bought it in saudi arabia when he was still working there. she later saw her camera through her acquaintance. when she asked how that acquaintance was able to acquire that item, she was told that it was bought from her brother. she was dumbfounded and helpless to do anything..

so sad, don't you think?

to be continued..

my ex-bro-in-law wanted some more of my jewels..

this is the 5th part of my previous post entitled, "my ex-bro-in-law allegedly stole my jewels away".

in continuation of my most recent post on why all fingers were pointed to my ex-bro-in-law as the only suspect, read on:

the morning after, i just stayed home as i was too traumatized to report to the office. i was accompanied by my mother-in-law (i respected her too much to put a prefix "ex" on her). then, we saw my ex-bro-in-law and an unidentified man, who were both riding a motorcycle, approached the gate of my house. when they realized that we were around as they saw us watching them through the window, they suddenly made a u-turn. why on earth would they do that? would they have proceeded to enter the house had they were assured that nobody was around? what would they want from my house? some more of my jewels perhaps? or the appliances that were left untouched? he must be a too discontented man..

(to be continued)

the circumstancial evidence..

(this is the 4th part of the post entitled, "my ex-bro-in-law allegedly stole my jewels away)

my ex-husband cited the following circumstances why they were accusing his brother as the black sheep:

1) his brother went to the house and found out that nobody was around. accordingly, he then proceeded to his lola in libertad and on his way, he saw my car parked at my office. he later went back to the house and nobody was still around.. (why would he still go back to the house when he knew that we were still at the office? he saw my car there, didn't he?)

2) the morning after what happened, he went around the neighborhood asking questions. but the neighbors swore that he did not just ask questions, he was sort of intimidating them to keep their silence, that is, see no evil, hear no evil.

3) a neighbor saw him outside the house holding a bolo that sunday afternoon. when asked about it, he could not give a straight answer. (he must have used that bolo to forcibly open the main door)

to be continued...

the revelation (3rd part of the post, "my ex-bro-in-law allegedly stole..."

my ex-husband was firm in his decision not to pursue the investigation of the case. to avoid further discussion (just like any other issues that he was guilty of), he would usually raise his voice to intimidate me, thereby silencing me.

thankfully my mother did something for me - she confided to a fortune-teller. upon learning that and before the fortune teller could tell her who the culprit was considering at that time my mother was not yet able to buy black candles as instructed by the fortune teller, hehehe), he panicked!

then one night, my ex-husband talked to me. without my knowledge, he and his own family had been accusing his older brother of being responsible for the robbery. of course, nobody really knows his own brother but he and his own family, right?

well, watch out for my next post on why they were pointing fingers at my ex-bro-in-law..

my disappointment...

(this is the part 2 of the previous post entitled, "my ex-bro-in-law allegedly stole my jewels away")

as i was saying, i happened to bumped into my ex-bro-in-law while everyone else was preoccupied with ensuring the security of the house. he was in my master bedroom and he was about to approach the table where my jewelries were once kept in place. i did not give malice to it, not until i found out who the main suspect is..

i was so determined to have the crime investigated. unfortunately, to my dismay, my ex-husband was not cooperative with the police. he even underrated them as incompetent. how could i argue further? i could just not understand why he was not doing anything to solve the crime. i thought he was the man of the house..

few days after, my ex-husband wiped off the fingerprints on the jewelry box..

(to be continued..)

my ex-bro-in-law allegedly took my jewels away..

i forgot again! six days ago i was supposed to be commemorating (this time, not celebrating, of course!) the loss of my jewelries and other stuff due to burglary. it happened in may 23, 2004, sunday. my ex-husband, along with the two-year old daughter of my ex-bro-in-law (brother of my ex-husband), my helper, and i went to church that morning. it was a rare occasion that nobody was left in the house. we then proceeded to pizza hut - gaisano to take our lunch. thereafter, my ex-husband decided to ask for my help in finalizing his barangay annual audit reports. hence, we did it at my office, tagging along with us the daughter of my ex-bro-in-law and my helper.

at around nighttime, we were still at the office then, i received a frantic call from my boarder saying that a break in has just occured. we immediately rushed to the house and there we found out that all valuable items that can be pocketed (e.g., my jewelries and that of my boarder) were missing. all other appliances were intact.

while everybody was busy examining for some clues on the crime, i happened to bumped into my ex-bro-in-law in the master bedroom.

(to be continued on my next post..)

independence day!

i forgot! i was supposed to be celebrating my independence day last april 22. actually, i thought the day was hmmm.. april 24? or 25? or 26? honestly, i don't remember! all i know is that three years ago, sometime towards the end of April, that was friday, i finally decided to free myself from the chain that almost destroyed me physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

yes, i kicked my dear husband out of my house.. and out of my life.. forever.. hehehe. don't worry dear sympathizers of my dear husband, "kicked" was an overstatement. i just showed him the way out after i calmly convinced him to "get lost!". hehehe. that was an overstatement again. seriously speaking, we did not have a fight that night. we just talked. my helper did not even know that something was wrong, not until she saw my husband carrying his bags on his way out.

that was three years ago. and a week ago, i just forgot to celebrate! how dare me! hehehe. anyway, it's not too late. cheers! :)

i just met the bestfriend of lorlaine

what a small world! (and what a coincidence! to think i talked about lorlaine* only few weeks ago..) i accidentally bumped into lorlaine's bestfriend just last week! she then confided to me that she usually referred her suitors to lorlaine (don't ask me why). i almost dropped my jaw and..

oh! never mind. i'm just glad i dumped my dear husband. what can i say? he fully deserves his women (me, absolutely not included! hehe). by the way, inday - a household helper is also a woman. do i need to tell you that? hehe

*not her real name

introducing his lovechild..

if i'm not mistaken, that was in the latter part of july 2003. that night, he came home from a party smelling beer. then as we were ready for bed, he told me of a story that a friend of his confided to him. accordingly, his friend found out that he has a love child from a woman he met while he was still in high school..

he was confused whether to tell his wife about his lovechild.. but he promised that should the wife accept him and his child, he wouldn't let his role as a father interfere with his marriage and he would love his wife more for that. then, my husband asked me, "if you were the wife, how would you take it?"

while he was relaying these things, i was already praying that he was not talking about himself. but i guess i just have to face the grim reality.. so, i answered, "well, if he could keep his promise and he let bygones be bygones, then i guess i should accept him and his child..". then he looked me in the eye and said, "i am that man.."

although i was already half-expecting it, i was still not ready when he blurted out the news. i cried.. he kept on reassuring me that everything will be alright. a thought was screaming in my mind, will somebody please wake me up from this nightmare?!

but no, the nightmare is becoming a reality.. from then on..

when he met lorlaine*..

that was middle of october 2001.. my ex-husband was still my boyfriend then. we had a big fight (that time, argument was my way of testing his patience). then i decided that was the end of it. the next few days thereafter, i just ignored him and was nearly successful in killing my feelings against him.

until one morning, he got the chance to talk to me while crying (by the way, i found out too late that crying was his tactic in getting the sympathy of his prey - the unsuspecting women). unfortunately, i was so stupid enough to accept him back only to find out that during those days that we were apart, he had already used that tactic to lorlaine*.

i thought he was only using her to hurt me (but no, i was wrong. i realized later on that he was using her for the properties that she is going to inherit from her parents.) good for her that she did not marry him, or did she? oh how i wish that she married him..

then, he was blunt to tell me that he could never be happy with lorlaine* although he said he could have a promising political career with her considering that her mother, who is a successful politician in their place, could mentor him. he further said that he could pursue his law studies with the financial support of her parents (he must be lucky!).

then, he started comparing my family's properties with her family's properties. he said my family's properties will be eventually divided among 4 - my two brothers, my sister, & me. while her family's properties will be divided only between her and her only brother. practicality-wise, he should choose the latter right? no, i wouldn't reveal what made him chose me over her lest i might hurt her feelings (please don't get me wrong. i don't hate her). by the way, weeks after we got married, he asked me to tell my mother to subdivide our properties. my share would have become a conjugal property. how lovely!

i thought he was just telling me these things just to test me, and i was caught off-guard. too bad for me, i didn't listen to these red flags..

*not her real name

someday, i'll find out..

my x-hubby has been texting me how sorry he is for what happened to our marriage. i am sure he is 99% insincere and unrepentant. don't blame me, i've been through hell with him..

i believe through this blog, i will find out what his motives are. after reading this, would he lash out his poisonous tongue again and try to sting every bit of this blog? or would he be humble enough to admit his mistakes? i'm keeping my fingers crossed..

is this the right decision?

i don't know if blogging about my marital history is the best thing i've ever made in my married life. that is, of course, next to leaving my husband. he might read this and who knows what will happen after. one possible repercussion he might take against me is what he is best known for - badmouthing.

i've been silent for so long. he took the center stage when he did all the talking as to why our marriage fell apart. it was a character assassination against me. it went on especially during the first year of our separation.

i was so deeply devastated. at my expense, he had the nerve to broadcast his justification about his infidelity by pointing all his fingers at me?! how dare him?!

well, i'm still thinking... is this the right decision?